Day 22 - Our perceptions are not always ground reality!

This is my story which is many months old now. An office colleague and me were not exactly on great talking terms because of a few situations during the course of our work had not gone as expected. In our heads, we held the other one responsible without overtly blaming each other. This situation encouraged us to create perceptions about each other. Perceptions, which we kept carrying along with us silently for few weeks. Slowly, we were building layers of reasons and reinforcing our own perceptions as time passed by. As a result, there was a feeling of awkwardness whenever we dealt with each other. These perceptions (read, opinions) were not really helping both of us in having a healthy working relationship. Honestly, both of us did not really attempt to clear the air by openly talking to each other. Either it was an ego issue or both felt that the perceptions we held about each other was the ultimate truth. Weeks turned into months but no one budged.
Our boss finally sensed this animosity developing between us and decided enough was enough. He decided to bring this out in the open in a subtle way. So, in of our meetings, he decided to engage the entire team in a no holds barred discussion. We all got occupied in discussing, debating and brain storming on various ideas and initiatives for future. One of the problem areas identified by the team was that all of us had a tendency to work in silos. No one had a clue of the developments in each others work areas. This was not at all favorable for the growth of the team and organization and something had to be done about it. My boss announced that we will introduce a "buddy program" experiment where each of us will shadow the other like in a chain. For eg. A becomes a buddy to B, C becomes a buddy to D and so on. And as a buddy we would need to know what's happening in each others work areas. Be there for each other and also provide feedback and solutions from a 'outsiders' perspective. It all sounded very good to us and we all agreed to be a part of this experiment. As luck would have it, our boss made me and my 'dear' colleague as buddies of each other.
May be it was preplanned, I don't know. But given the past, it was not going to be easy for both of us.
All said and done we both committed to make it work.

Its now almost 3 months since we started this 'buddy program' experiment. I am happy to say that not only do we have a better working relationship today but I have also realized that the perceptions I held about him were somewhat wrong (and likewise, he about me). The animosity has completely vanished and given way for respect for each others work.
Well, it wasn't really that easy as it sounds. The coldness and aloofness of the first weeks gradually thawed which led to a few arguments and discussions in the following weeks. Then, we realized how wrong we were. We were so caught up in our own stories that we kept reinstating and strengthening our long withheld judgements as we went along. But by opening up through the 'buddy program" experiment, we started seeing things from each others point of view. We finally realized the truth and that was, we were wrong and unfair to each other.
The deep seated perceptions have now been pulled out at their roots and given way to a new   perspective which is positive and healthier.

In a nutshell, we all carry perceptions in our heads about people, places, ideas based on our few experiences and observations. We keep making them 'stronger and truer' by feeding it with new reasons. And then, it becomes so deep rooted that it becomes a reality....our reality. And that's the story we love to carry in our heads for the rest of our life. And by doing so, we tend to lose a lot. Believe me, a lot!
So don't hold to your perceptions so tight as they are only YOUR stories and YOUR reality, the ground reality could be totally different.
Be open, give a chance and have a mindset which is open to new possibilities and new beginnings. That's how we can truly grow as human beings.

Day 21 - When today becomes the yesterday and tomorrow that never comes.

We are now almost nearing the end of January and it's that time of the year when most of us are already busy writing epitaphs of our new year resolutions. The time of the year when 'what could have been this year' becomes 'same time next year'.
As a veteran in this category I have stopped drawing up any new resolutions and even if I do, I have stopped committing overtly. In fact, I have been more a silent observer of the goings on and at best non-committal as far as new year resolutions go.
But, as a subject it continues to fascinate me. Because nothing provides hope for the 'new you' like these resolutions do. Adrenaline and josh is at its highest peak amongst all of us during this period. And no prizes for guessing which are the most common resolutions.
1. Lose weight 2. Start exercising 3. Eat healthy.
Aah, sounds familiar, right!
Some time last week over lunch, my colleagues and me were discussing about what else but resolutions. I was mum as I being an old-timer in this category didn't want to play the wet blanket to the much hopeful novices.
What I didn't know was that there was one more veteran in the group sitting with us. That too more seasoned than me. She very plainly and openly declared, 'I had promised myself two years back that I will start my walks every evening only when I move in to my new home which has a garden. Now, its been almost 1 year since I have moved in and I have not even stepped on that green grass, forget taking a brisk walk on it.' Further she added, 'Since exercising obviously doesn't seem a desirable option to me, I will henceforth focus on eating right. So now, I will wait till I can afford another house which would be closer to a vegetable market.'
After a long pause and when no one knew how to react to her statement, she let out a chuckle and added, 'Of course I was joking about the last bit, guys'. And then the discussion ended in peals of laughter with more stories around resolutions and  how to break them.
However, the point I want to make here is different.

The villain of the piece are the big fat stupid excuses. The excuses we constantly give, to justify our noncompliance. Excuses for not keeping our word.
"Today I have slept late so I think its ok if I wake up late tomorrow and skip my exercise."
"Today I am feeling very tired. I think I will start with my brisk walk tomorrow not today."
"Oh, its so dark and cold today morning, I won't go to the gym now, I will go in the evening."


And the list goes on. The excuses don't stop and the tomorrow never comes. The above may just sound familiar to you as we all go through it at one point or another.
But hey, not those who are truly disciplined and committed. For them. excuses are absolutely unacceptable. In fact, they don't even exist in their dictionary.
This rare group will always find some ways and means to ensure that they stick to their plan. They are the ones who keep their word and do what they said they will.
And because of that they command respect, elicit trust and integrity and also show a sense of personal power which few of us can be proud of.
Here's a toast to those special people who make new year resolutions and make them work all through the year and longer.

Day 20 - Everything happens for a reason!

Every morning I check my weight on the weighing balance. Its a compulsive habit. Even though the news is mostly never heartwarming, its my way to keep myself away from over indulgence ...or so I tell myself. Ashish has seen my expressions when I am alighting from my 'mean' machine. And, the expressions have always been the same. Its a long face followed by an even longer sigh. So he can't figure out, why I even put myself through this torture on a daily basis. Only on few rare occasions, has he seen a satisfied smile or a silly grin. So today, when he saw me jumping with joy and pumping my fists in the air, he knew it. That 'mean' machine had, on this extraordinary occasion been kind to his wife. It was actually showing me a loss of 2 kilograms which was totally unprecedented.
Well, this was indeed great. I was happy and so was Ashish...for me! I heard him murmur something like "Finally..." under his breath as he walked past me.
But this story is not going to be about my tumultuous relationship with my weighing machine nor my weight loss tamasha. Today's story has a little background to it. So I flash back to 10 days when my maid announced her 3 week annual leave to me. I had seen the writing on the wall as this is usually the time she decides to go on her pilgrimage. She has been doing this for the past 7 odd years since she has been working with us. I should have known, it was coming. However, like all bad news I didn't want to accept this imminent fact and denied it will ever happen. But happened it did, more earlier than I expected.
Shobha, is not just a maid for me, but a Woman Friday...to Thursday, if I can say so. She cooks, cleans, washes, dusts, waters the plants and every other possible chore my lazy muscle would not want to do. So when she goes on leave, you can only imagine my helplessness. My entire schedule turns upside down and I become a zombie. In spite of the support I get from my close family members, life is never smooth when Shobha is not around. So this time as well, I could only imagine what was in store for me for the next 3 weeks.
After the initial denial, shock and then acceptance, I decided to take matters and the whole house in my hand. Whether it was dusting, washing utensils or cooking I was going to survive in spite of it all, my inner voice declared fearlessly. And all this without it affecting my office work, I boldly promised myself. With the support from my dear hubby, I knew I could take on my unwieldy, demanding domestic world like the brave Luke Skywalker did against the Galactic Empire.

Coming back to present, its been almost 2 weeks since she left and believe me, I have managed well so far. I feel like one of the contestants of the Survivor series who has made the cut, unbruised and undeterred. Besides the fact that I have 'gained' from my weight loss, I have also uncovered a highly energetic and a fastidiousness me, who was waiting to be discovered. This side of my self
would have been 'sitting on the bench' if not for this situation. What could have been a 3 week tumultuous 'domestic issue' has suddenly turned on its head as if in a Sirshaasan pose (headstand pose in Yoga) drawing out the best in me.

To sum it all, everything happens for a reason. And mostly the reason is always for a better you!

The problem is, we don't have patience to endure and enjoy the long arduous journey which may at the end of it all, just turn around with a gift you will treasure for life.

What I have provided, is just a peek into a simple, daily life situation which all of us go through. There are many more tough, demanding, challenging and even life threatening situations we may have to go through in life. But if we take them head on and understand that there is only one reason for they being there...and that only reason is for our own good and also for a better you, then life would be so liberating and free from any tensions and fear.

Here is one video which I found on TED, I saw and opened my eyes to a totally new perspective.

http://www.ted.com/talks/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html

Day 19 - 3 Ps - Performance, Packaging and Promotions

Performance, Packaging and Promotions - 3 Ps according to me, have become the most essential aspects of our life today- more so professional and public lives. Each of these are crucial tiers which we have to pay attention to, focus our energies on and put efforts into, in order to be successful in today's professional life.

Content (read, performance) was for a long time the only important aspect but things have changed, and more dramatically so in recent times.
To give you a simple example, in today's world, as an employee of an 'X' organization, not only one has to exceed given targets (i.e. perform well) but also ensure that the efforts put in are also packaged well. Packaged in a way that the organization sits up and takes notice of it, realizes and appreciates the labor that has gone into it. Silently toying away is a thing of the past.

And in instances when you exceed their expectations, you must also 'talk' about it (be your own PR machinery). So that the entire eco-system, (not limited to your boss) which includes your colleagues, sub-ordinates, senior members, staff from other divisions etc. must all become aware of your achievements and triumphs.

There are still some who focus only on the first 'P' (Performance) and sorely lack in the other 2 Ps (Packaging and Promotions).  'Why should I talk about my achievements, isn't that bragging? I would rather have my work speak for itself.' That's the thought process they believe in.
Nothing bad about it at all.
But my friend, in today's fast paced, chaotic, short sighted world which also has people with short term memories, it has become essential to break through this clutter by singing our own song and blowing our own trumpet.


To reinforce this thought further, I will share an incident which happened today.
On my way to office, I was reading the newspaper and passively listening to the radio and my favourite morning RJ, Jituraj. As usual, he was talking in a feverish pitch about the happenings in the city, the new films, their songs and reviews, some social causes and then suddenly he veered to the subject of Marathi Theatre. He said something that really stuck with me through the day.

He was recounting how, since time immemorial, Marathi Theatre has been offering the most critically acclaimed plays, best performances and directors, original stories and award winning actors/actresses to its discerning audience. Unfortunately, it has not got the deserved adulation and status which it should command and its stagnating today. Those who follow theater passionately, will surely understand its predicament.

Then he spoke about, how in spite of its diminishing stature, its zealous audience continues to throng the theaters for a 3pm show even on a Monday afternoon and make it a 'House Full'. This passion reflects the love they have for the content and performances of the talented powerhouses that embody Marathi Theater.

Imagine how big these guys (Marathi Theater producers) would have been if they were strong in their Packaging and Promotions department as well. Probably would have given all other formats a run for their money. Sadly, the ilk of Marathi Theater producers, directors and writers belong to the small surviving group which focuses purely on 'Performance' and ignores the other 2 Ps. They don't understand that in order to reach the heights it is worthy of and become even bigger, they need to change their own mindset. A mindset which caters to the 'new' needs to bring in younger audiences to theaters. And in addition, shout out from roof tops about the brilliant art that they have to offer to them.

He concluded that its time the Marathi Theater industry realizes what they lack for promoting their art. Otherwise, its definitely curtains down for them. And that will be a sad day.

In line with what Jituraj was saying, there are many such examples in India and amongst them are our historical monuments. These ancient shrines and landmark locations are several centuries old and soaked in rich history and heritage. They could make fantastic tourist destinations but sadly are left in ruins without much maintenance and beautification. The infrastructure surrounding these remarkable sites is so under developed that you can only feel pity for ourselves. Not to mention, they are severely under promoted as well.
And why just monuments, take the case of eateries like Merwan's (Irani restaurant) who for decades has been serving yummy  mava cakes to foodies across generations. But now, because of not being able to reinvent itself and promote to the younger clientele, its going to be shutters down from March for Merwan's. For its multitude of old fans, it will be the end of the mava cake era.

In a nutshell, it will be safe to conclude that its not just enough to deliver a great performance but it's also important to write your own advertisement and promote it to the right audience as well. Otherwise, you may just remain a great piece of living being which no one else either saw, heard or met.

Day 18 - The Brand 'YOU'

During a casual talk with my husband post dinner, he mentioned about a dissertation topic which he presented during his MBA school days. It was on the subject of 'The Brand - You'. I almost pressured him to tell me more but he just brushed me off saying that it was too long back to even remember. It may not have been such a fresh topic for him, but it still got me interested to pen it down as an inspiring thought for the day.

We had learned way back in school about branding and marketing but still I googled to check if there was any new theory to it. More so, because back then we didn't have Google. What I found was an interesting piece of history which some may already know.

The word “brand” is derived from the Old Norse word brandr, which means “to burn by fire.” ..... recalling the practice of producers burning their mark (or brand) onto their products. In 1876, after the United Kingdom passed the Trade Mark Registration Act, Bass Ale became the first trademarked brand in the world after submitting its now-quintessential red triangle for trademark status. The act gave businesses the ability to register and protect a brand marker so that a similar icon couldn’t be used by any other company. - Source www.brainpickings.org
Initially, branding was adopted to differentiate one person's cattle from another's by means of a distinctive symbol burned into the animal's skin with a hot iron stamp and was subsequently used in business, marketing, and advertising.

Today, we all have affinity for specific brands, especially the one's which evoke either trust, warmth, fun, class, sophistication, strength, dependability, tradition, excellence, style, earthiness, or many such attributes. So everything that we see and which has a potential to be bought or whose services we can use, stands for something unique and special. Unfortunately, only a few are successful over a period of time as they consistently reinforce those qualities and deliver the promise for which they are bought.

Given that there are around 100 brands of bottled water in USA or closer home, the gamut of e-commerce websites that have been been launched, it has become imperative today that each of them elicit a specific and unique quality, attribute or character.


But hey, its not just important for inanimate objects, organizations and their services, countries and their tourism boards to have a brand persona, we too are brands in our own right. Every day and every minute, every action that you do, every word that you say and every thought that you convey has been building the brand - YOU.
We may not be conscious of this fact but by repeatedly expressing in certain ways and behaving in certain manner we have built perceptions in the minds of our stake holders and created our very unique brand personalities. It would be interesting for each of us to dive into our world and do a quick dipstick survey with those who matter, to understand what we stand for in their eyes and is it what we really are deep inside.
If there is no gap between the REAL you and the BRAND you, its good news. You have been a fantastic marketer of brand 'YOU'. But if there is a gap, then definitely there is something which you are not doing correctly. You may need to understand how the REAL you can be represented correctly.
And then there is another set of people who consciously portray what they are really not. You will  find these mostly in the political arena. Unfortunately, they don't understand that by doing so, it will surely not help them in the long run and they will soon lose their so-called followers. The biggest and successful brands have survived across many decades only because they were transparent, evoked trust and consistently delivered on their brand promise.

In a nutshell.
As a person, as a brand YOU, its important that:
When you give your word, keep it. (Even if it is to yourself)
If you make a commitment, honor it. 
If you take on an obligation, fulfill it.

And doing this consistently is what makes a very powerful, trusted and successful brand 'YOU'.

Day 17 - Serendipity and coincidences

Scene 1 - You were thinking about someone or wanting to meet a long lost friend who you haven't met for a long time and suddenly that someones name suddenly flashes on your mobile phone screen.
Scene 2 - You have been wanting to buy something for a very long time and guess what, you receive it as a gift from someone who doesn't have a clue you needed the exact same thing.
Scene 3 - You had a repeated premonition about an occurrence or event, you forget about it and lo behold, it happens thereafter.
Scene 4 -  You always wanted to visit a particular place/ city and then circumstances suddenly play out in such a way that you get to visit the place long desired by you.

All the above scenes if they ever happened to you, please don't dismiss it as either chance encounters, luck or coincidences. There is a method in this 'madness' (if I may say so). And I can vouch that from my own experiences. The above scenes are akin to a few situations that I have gone through, not once, twice but many times before. And they continue to happen. Initially, I brushed them off as mere coincidences but when I saw a pattern emerging, I realized that there is more to these happenings and they cannot be ignored.

So, whether it was me always aspiring to work for a non profit organization at some point in my career, wanting to send my parents on international holidays, hoping to own my own car at 30, aspiring to travel to every continent in the world, as a single, hoping to find a hubby who would also be my best friend  or as simple as hoping to hear from or meet someone, I had not met in a long time, all of these wishes and thoughts have actually come true. Well, almost as I have yet to make it to Antarctica & South America.

I understood what Paulo Coelho must have meant when he wrote, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Then onwards it became important for me to consciously stay away from negative thoughts and start thinking only positive thoughts. Imagining only positive events for future as they had a probability of  actually being achieved in life.

Well, easier said than done. Given our mind's wandering and fickle nature, there are bound to be moments of weakness. And moments like these were aplenty. However, our job is to ensure that the negative thoughts become less and less and we focus more on the good things in life. And that is exactly what I work on every waking moment of my life, hoping to be better than what I was yesterday.

Also, this subject has been studied, researched in detail and proved under social sciences and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). In fact, below is information which actually demonstrates how it happens.

"If you have been thinking about something, it becomes a dominant thought in your mind. Each time you think about the same thing over and over again, it supports and strengthens the dominant thought. It is really reality being replayed. Your dominant thought dictates how you act or behave, and when you act or behave according to it, it brings about the full and true realization of your thinking. A prophecy is thus self-fulfilled." - Source http://www.mymotivational-nlp.com/self-fulfilling-prophecy

Whatever you believe becomes your reality. So think positive always and you will lead a positive life.
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” - Napolean Hill

Day 16 - Speak up or get 'dumbed' down!

When in school, if I didn't understand what the teacher was saying, I never raised my hand to ask my doubt. When the teacher asked a question, even if I knew the correct answer, I would never raise my hand. If there was an interesting assignment to be volunteered for, I would still remain tongue-tied even though it would have been something I would have loved to do. Through all this inaction, I was slowly instilling in me a mute spectator to life's many fine chances which scraped past me. In each of these moments, I was turning my back to many opportunities to grow, learn something new and become a better human being. 

Later in life as well, there were many such moments when I must have played all the above parts, albeit the setting would be college or my early days in a corporate environment. And these were the times when the stakes would have been even higher. 

And so I ask you, how many times have you felt like kicking yourself for not speaking up at the right time or not speaking up at all? If the answer is quite often, then this post may interest you.

As you have already understood, I have been through it many a times and realized later the repercussions of not speaking out, whether it was my point of view, a question or doubt, feedback or opinion, counter-argument or even my decision. Sadly, they remained only as words floating in my head, waiting to be relieved like the Genie in Alladin's lamp. And then the misery of a lost opportunity used to get compounded further by the frustration of keeping those words locked inside.
I looked back at all my 'dumb' moments and in retrospect I understood the many chances and choices I had missed out on. There was only one loser in the scheme of things and that was me. Then one fine day, just like that, I decided it was now or never. The choice was very clear, speak up or get 'dumbed' down. 
I decided to free myself from the demons inside my head stopping me to take the right foot forward or in this case

So here is the wiser me (or so I think), after having experienced  many 'dumbfounding' experiences, presenting 12 reasons why one should speak up.

My 13 reasons why you should speak up:

1. You are unique. There is no else is quite like you, so you are entitled to your own opinions. Speak up and be heard. 

2. Life may offer you that opportunity only once, so speak out, show your inclination and grab it with both hands.

3. If there are people who are always critical and spread negativity, speak out against them and show them the correct way. Don't be a mute spectator.

4. If you know you are right but there are hundred voices against you, still speak up for what you stand for.

5. When in doubt, speak up. You will surely get your answers. Do not be afraid to look silly.

6. When you need help, just ask for it. You will be surprised, how many would like to help you.

7. When sad or in sorrow, speak out. They say sharing your sorrow divides them. So don't keep it bottled up inside.

8. When you commit a mistake, speak up and admit the fault. It helps you to improve and be a better human being.

9. When someone harasses, speak out and don't feel shy. That someone is the perpetrator and he/she should be ashamed. By speaking up, he/she can be punished so that no one else bears the brunt in future.

10. When life gives you multiple options, don't hesitate to voice your choice. Go for it and don't settle for something which you don't like/want. You will repent it later.

11. Speak up in appreciation of the positive things in life and someone else's achievements. That provides a great boost and helps spread positivity. Sometimes, it is also important to speak up to provide a constructive feedback. It helps to improve on situations, people, things and life in general.

12. Speak up to show gratitude and say 'Thank you' always. Also, do not hesitate to speak up to say 'Please' and 'Sorry' whenever required. It shows a strong character beneath the veneer.

13.  Speak to clear wrong perceptions. A lot of times we believe we are always right, our view is the correct view. But it may not be the case always. If you care to understand the other person more deeply then you should take the first step and communicate.

These are my 13 reasons why one must speak up, be heard and communicate. There will be many more reasons you may find to speak up and be heard. 

In a nutshell, first get freedom from the inner demons inside your head. They are more vicious than the world that is out there. 
Express yourself, be heard and you will realize that the best tool we as humans have with us, is our ability to communicate. 
Communication is one of the best solution to all the problems in our life. And if we don't speak up or communicate we make the problems fester and grow.

So I say speak up or get 'dumbed down'!

Day 15 - When life does a U turn!

Today was a day when I heard a lot of stories...sad stories unfortunately. Stories which I came to know through news papers, through word of mouth. Though no one was known to me, I could only feel pity for them. And these were normal people like you and me who were leading an absolute normal life when suddenly fate had something else in store for them.

A college going girl who commuted daily by train, slipped from the platform on to the tracks when she was trying to catch a moving train. Luckily, she managed to survive the fall but at the cost of losing both her arms. It would have been a normal day for that girl till that accident happened. And now, with this sudden twist she will have to learn to lead a completely different life for the rest of her lifetime. The good news is that there has been an enormous public outpouring of affection and donation. Also, thanks to the media coverage, she has had frequent visitors to her hospital bed providing her solace and motivational support including those who had a similar story to share.


The second story though not as morbid is sad in its own way. An acquaintance who was a new recruit, had been sent to US for training and induction. He had traveled to USA via Frankfurt, a journey of over 20 hours and was just about starting the first day of his training. Then suddenly, in the second half of the session, he was asked to step out mid way through the training session. And just like a bolt from the blue, he was told that his services were no longer required and from that moment onwards his contract had been terminated by the organization. His return tickets were handed over to him and he was asked to leave the same evening for India. He was also coldly informed that if he intended to stay over that night, the expense had to be paid from his own pocket. Such a dreadful feeling to hear this when one is hopeful and looking forward to a bright new future. I am sure he must have wanted the earth beneath his feet to engulf him that very moment.

With these 2 sad stories though unrelated to each other, what I am conveying here is the fickleness of life. What's good today may not remain good forever. Hopefully, such dramatically unfortunate incidents should not befall on anyone, I pray.

The good news is that I hear the 16 year old girl has been overwhelmed by the love and kindness she has been receiving and is slowing getting over the shock. Also, accident victims who have been leading a normal life using prosthetic limbs are providing her a hopeful future by showing how they have successfully coped with this life altering situation. Likewise, I hear that the young man who lost his job unceremoniously is getting tremendous support from his colleagues and friends, who are going out of their way to get him a suitable job at the earliest.
The bottom line is that life can be very ruthless sometimes and we have to be brave and be  ready for any eventuality. So lets surround ourselves with positivity always, be it through people, books, music, a long walk in woods or draw positivity from within ourselves.
Keep the faith!

Day 14 - Listen to your inner voice

"Listen to your inner voice"- an oft repeated advice but also most ignored. And here it is again, being put forth by me, who by no means is trying to spew out any spiritual gyan. A plain simple truth which I was blind to earlier. In fact, I was not even aware of its existence. And now, I wholeheartedly agree to this belief, having eschewed it for the major part of my life.  I am happy that my inner voice is now gaining more treble, volume and bass as I am retreating from my 30s in to the 40s (read, mature).
I had many a times in my life, faced situations where I had the option to either follow the herd or listen to my lonely voice. Most times the voices outside my head were so strong that it used to drown out the poor feeble inner voice and then I used to find comfort in the collective voice and not the dissident voice within. Now, when I look back, I have realized the irony of it all. The solitary squeak though was invariably right never got due credence, sadly.
But now those days are gone. With practice, I hear it very clearly like the gongs in a Buddhist monastery. I use it a lot of times when I am unsure about a situation - whether its about taking up a new job offer or hiring someone new in the organization, taking crucial business decisions, health related issues or business meetings or gauging new people. They could be life's biggest decisions or ordinary actions of everyday, I have begun to rely on it more and more. I can proudly say that my inner voice has been a guiding light, showing me the way in moments of uncertainty and indecisiveness. Very few times has it failed me.


But how did I connect with my inner self for answers? For me it was Yoga, for others it could be reading a book or just sitting quietly by themselves, writing a diary or many such quieter moments. Basically, we need to find some 'me time' in this fast moving world. It helps to throw light on some evasive answers we have been searching for.  And when you find it, it's the a-ha moment akin to finding the needle in a haystack.

Whatever the means, the answers are always within us.
Problem is, we go looking for it somewhere else.

Day 13 - Three secrets to happiness

I was very surprised to learn that there are only 350 cases of Progeria in the world today. Progeria is an extremely rare disease which causes rapid aging and also various other side effects. Sam Berns, a seventeen year old boy is one such Progeria case and he gave his Ted Talk on the subject of 3 secrets to happiness according to him.

In spite of the condition, when some one actually provides a mantra for happiness, it definitely has to be worth reading (and watching)

Sam's Philosophy of Happy Life :
1. Be OK with what you ultimately can't do, because there is so much you CAN do.
2. Surround yourself with people you want to be around.
3. Keep moving forward.

Very simple but so very deep. Someone, who is leading a life which is not healthy and has so much
positivity reminds us yet again how fickle we are in spite of being blessed with good health.
You must see this video and hear him speak.
http://www.upworthy.com/right-before-dying-from-a-rare-lifelong-disease-sam-revealed-his-three-secrets-to-happiness?c=ufb1
Isn't that amazing, how he sees life given his condition. Unfortunately, 3 months after this Ted Talk, Sam passed away. That's the way to lead life, fulfilling right till the end! 

Day 12 - Best things in life are free!

Need I say more....

Day 11 - In mother natures embrace!

A day trip to Vasai Fort with BNHS group members provided me just the kind of complete experience I was looking forward to. A taste of history, sighting of unique birds, enticing aroma of the sweet toddy, nature's welcoming touch and the melodious chirping and cooing of birds and squirrels. What can get more delightful than this lovely experience in the lap of mother nature.

This was my first trip with BNHS and I am already addicted to it. Looking forward to many more such interesting and educating trips which will not only refresh my brain, broaden my perspective but also give me an opportunity to reach out and make new friends.

Vasai Fort facade

Day 10 - Where ART thou?

One of my dear cousins was here in Mumbai from London on her annual holiday this December.  Like all NRIs she had plans to visit a few landmark places which make her nostalgic when not here. Being an architect and that too from Sir. J.J School of Architecture, it was not surprising for me to know that the Jehangir Art Gallery was on her 'I must come back to' places.
So here I was, a dummy when it came to Art and artistry, accompanying my cousin on a jaunt to the art gallery. I had been to Jehangir Art Gallery a couple of times earlier for different reasons, appreciating art was definitely not one of them though. Since we had both skipped our breakfast and were intolerably hungry we both agreed to have brunch and what better place than Samovar. The quaint little, arty eatery located inside the gallery which has been featured many a times in Bollywood movies from 70s-80s. The gallery visit had started off on a sumptuous note. Great!

After a delightful brunch and reliving some old memories 'served' here, we were ready or rather she was ready for the gallery visit. I was just happy to tag along, to soak in the new flavors and experience that were in store for me.
There were about 4-5 artists who were at display that day but she was here for a specific artist named Bharati Pitre, whose work she had seen and also heard about.
We both stepped into the exhibit area and at the cost of sounding cliched, I would say that we were completely floored. Creativity was stamped across every exhibit and what was more unique was that a layperson like me could relate to and identify with each piece. The artist had managed to pick up every nuanced moments from everyday situations and molded them together in peculiar shaped human looking figurines. It was not the typical art on canvas but these were statuettes made from papier mache material on display. Humor, simplicity, keen observation and groundedness of the artist was palpable through all her exhibits.


You will ask me, ok ...so you went to an art exhibition? So what? There are so many who have visited before you and not once but many times.Why was I so inspired about this incident to write a blog post?
As I said, this was my first visit to an art gallery for the purpose of viewing art, albeit by chance. And glad I was. It opened my eyes to a world which was beyond the world of logic and practicality.

In our lives, we come across various situations, events, people, places, things and ideas. However, not all of us get affected by it the same way. There are some who have an uncanny knack of seeing them from various perspectives, not just limited to their own vision. And that's what this artist, Bharati Pitre had reinforced, like many other artists before her. They observe nuances which we fail to note,  they capture the ethos of the situation in their mind's eye which they then pour into their art and give it a new life.

In a nutshell, its important for all of us to take a moment, to observe, absorb and reflect moments in our everyday life and lead a more fulfilling and meaningful existence. Rather than running through it like a zombie who goes through life like routine, we should take a page from these artists to lead a wholesome and inspired life.

Some exhibits of Bharati Pitre to give you a taste of our unique experience.

Day 9 - The best things in life aren't things!

Today I tumbled upon this image and its stayed with me since then. A simple line which got me thinking.  The best things in life aren't things.
It was shared on FB by a dear cuzzie and I instantly warmed to it.
Life is not about what you buy, own, possess, ..its definitely not a thing. Its all about the many different experiences we live in our life time.
It means, instead of looking to buy that princess cut diamond ring, or that snazzy 4 wheel drive, indulge in new experiences with your near and dear ones, friends or may be just yourself. And that's what makes our life richer and fulfilling.
So its no surprise that when I look back into my childhood or  adolescent days or even when beyond my recent past, the only 'things' I remember are beautiful moments, varied adventurous experiences, joyous occasions and trying times which made me wiser. But definitely not when  I got my new toy, bought my new dress or car.

For instance, I have so many clothes in my cupboard and footwear in the shoe rack (like so many women I know). I still feel as if I don't have enough and moreover, any special occasion, I always find it difficult to pick an appropriate one to wear. Some times I even forget the existence of few pairs of fancy sandals or fine dresses which lie vacuously under a heap, completely unused. So next time I wish or crave to buy something new...whether clothes, shoes, books, jewellery, electronic item or a piece of furniture, I am definitely going to spend some time mulling over it. Whether I really need to buy or I can postpone the decision for another day.

But today is the day when I will do 'spring cleaning' to discard all things which I have been hoarding unnecessarily.  A fine day to decide their fate before they get packed off to Goonj.com (charity organization). A haven where I am sure they would be treated much better and appreciated as well.

In a nutshell, the mantra is to buy fancy items, gadgets only if you must and not just for snob value. However,  surely do indulge in a variety of experiences which will make your life richer and you a wiser and a better person!

Day 8 - Don't burn your bridges

Burning bridges may have been the best tactical move of army generals during wars in historic times. But these are different times we live. We don't have enemies sneaking on us behind our backs nor do we face tough choices or do or die situations in these civilian times.
Well, in spite of that, there are times where we see individuals who burn their own bridges, as they fail to see the distant eventuality of their actions. Sadly what matters to them is the now and hence their hasty, premature actions or decisions lead to burning of bridges, bonds and relationships, forever.
My compulsion to write on this topic was an incident which happened just this week in my office and I was a close witness to it.

We have a job opening for the post of event manager in our organization. And this piece of news somehow reached the ears of our ex-colleague. It so happens that this colleague is also looking for a job opportunity. So he approached me as I would be filling up this position.
I immediately mentioned this to my boss given that we are in the final stages with 2 other candidates and he would have been a an ideal 3rd candidate in the fray given his familiar background.
Unfortunately, he won't be considered.
Why?
Not because he is incapable, or his profile does not match or his experience is limited. On the contrary he is over qualified for this position but he still won't make it.
This was because of  an incident which I became privy to, only now.

Three years back when he left our organization to start a business, he did so unceremoniously. When he left, he did something which completely broke the trust of his (and my current)  boss.
So, in spite of the fact that he may have been hard working, sincere, capable and all that during his tenure, he had in one finishing stroke ruined his own chances of a come back.... which was to happen 3 years later incidentally.

Now, he is facing tough times and is unable to resurrect his sagging business, the business for which he had moved on. He is currently very desperate for a job. So pitifully desperate, that he is open for a job that may undermine his own competency and salary expectations.

How circumstances change? How people change? But how basic principles in life just don't.

It's called the circle of life! Karma - "principle of causality where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual." (as per Wikipedia definition)
What he did 3 years back by 'burning the bridges' has eventually caught up with him in these moments of uncertainty. What could have been a comfortable comeback is now a door which will never open for him.

In a nutshell, don't make burning bridges ever an option in your life unless you plan to build your own.

Day 7 - Joy of Giving!

When was the last time you felt happy? And I mean truly happy. Which essentially goes beyond the happiness euphoria one enjoys after an extensive shopping binge or eating out in a fancy restaurant with your bunch of BFF or experience of an exotic holiday or even a candle light romantic dinner with your spouse. In case you still have not got the answer, it's okay. Its not unusual.

My moment of happiness is when I give. Be it love, acts of kindness, a shoulder to cry, a patient hearing, piece of advice and many such moments when I give not with any expectations. It is unrequited acts of kindness which makes my life more meaningful and special.

Giving clothes and money to charity is good but even better is when you can gift your time. 
Time in the form of volunteering efforts to social organizations, towards your housing society, towards a cause for making the lives of those around you better.

However, the time I am able to spent like this is not as much as I would like to. So hoping 2014 makes me energized to devote much time for it.
Believe me, if everyone of us picks up at least one social cause and contribute their time and energy towards that, life will be such a wonderful place.

It may be saving a green space in your locality, being part of the Teach India initiative, or a passion which is dear to your heart. There can be no greater happiness than by giving your precious time to an initiative from which you may not even receive any monetary or non monetary benefit. But it will surely make your life more meaningful and make you content than anything else.

Day 6 - Remember to just call!

We lead very busy lives or at least we seem to a have lot on our plates nowadays. Subconsciously we get sucked in to this time vortex and then carry on with our daily routine as if that's the only way to lead a life. Such a pity!

Work, calls, meetings, messages, emails, whatsapp forwards, traffic, some more emails, some more calls and then again the virtual meetings....it never ends or does it!
So when in one of our rare quieter moments when we get time to reflect on the unfinished tasks of the day.... its mostly pending items on our personal 'Things to do' list.Sadly, they always get pushed to a tomorrow that went by yesterday.

And in that unfinished task list is one of the most simple yet important item is to make a phone call. To call on that long lost and found again friend or an ailing aunt or uncle or a back in India finally - family friend, basically people in our lives who we have not met or heard in a long time.
Somehow it not being an urgent task, it remains on to-do list for days and sometimes as long as months.

I have heard people say....oh I wish I had spoken to him before he left....but by then its too late. Sometimes they have lost that chance forever. Just a few days back, one of my favorite actors Farouque Shaikh expired unexpectedly in Dubai when on his family holiday. The next day there was outpouring of condolences in the national newspapers. Amongst them were many colleagues and friends were quoted  saying that they wished they had visited him or called him as they intended to do for a very long time and now they were regretting for not doing the same.

God forbid any such untoward incident happens. But this seemingly simple act of calling on one of your friends, family or relatives to speak a few kind words may become a reason for sending you on a long guilt trip if not done in time.
Thankfully, this has never happened to me and hope it never does. But its always good to learn from others mistakes rather than learn it the hard way.

So I ask, have you been thinking of calling someone for a long long time but have not done so yet, just pick up that phone and do so right now.

And well, you can thank me later for saving you from that long arduous guilt laden trip! :)

Day 5 - Stay Relevant. Stay Alive!

An interesting snippet caught my eye in one of the business publications about a giant company. And that led to an insight which can be correlated to our personal life in many ways.

The story was about Intel, the guys who used to tell us time and again, at least till yesterday, to look inside (of every PC / traditional computers to find them). However, the news headline which caught my eye was something else. It read 'Intel aims to go from inside to everywhere'.
With an interesting caption such as this which is asking us to alter our (long withheld) brand perception about Intel, definitely was going to be worth reading.

Apparently, the writing was on the wall for a few years now. The message had been slowly growing loud and clear for Intel as it's market had been more or less stagnant or marginally growing. And it was the time for Intel to become relevant to those who were shifting the product loyalties from the old to the new - from the traditional computers/PCs to the hand sets /cell phones.

The world's largest chip maker, which dominates the market for semi conductors that run traditional computers, is now looking to branch out as consumers increasingly use smart phones and tablets that don't contain Intel processors.  Given that the PC market is slowing, Intel has already started looking to wearable devices and other personal technology to offset this saturation. Considering they are new in the phones segment they have not been able to garner any significant market share so far.

So the new mantra of the Intel CEO, Brian Krzanich, "However and wherever the market moves, Intel will be where the compute need is and they will be the best". So it could be the household appliances or industrial equipment segment, Intel will not shy away from entering those markets. Also, Intel is now open to producing chips for other companies and more importantly, listening to what customers want.
In the CEO's words, "We'd become insular. We'd become focused on what was our best product rather than where the market was moving."

So in a nutshell, a strong message for all of us here which can be applied in our personal life as well.

• Update /upgrade your skills regularly (read, watch webinars, get certified etc.)
• 'Listen' to your stakeholders (or customers/ family members etc.)
• Improvise always (as you can get indispensable)

Because if we don't do the above, we may experience the "Kodak Moment" a little too early in our life. Stay relevant. Stay Alive!

Day 4 - 'Life is a precious gift. So live it up like there is no tomorrow!

Every day till today I had been waking up to the morning sun rather casually, not realizing I have been a destiny's child...totally blessed.
Blessed with what, you may ask!
If one has a roof over the head, a loving husband who sincerely cares for you, has a family who is always there for you, a job which is enviable, true friends who love you for what you are, have finances in pretty decent shape, have time to pursue hobbies and interests  and also a healthy body, mind and soul, you are by far, one of the most luckiest people on the surface of earth.
And if all the above describes me then bloody hell I am that blessed person!

So if you ask me, how many times till now had I realized and known that I was blessed with the gift....this precious gift of a truly wonderful life!
I rather shamefully confess, not many times in spite of the seemingly obvious answer.

And so I ask, how often do we realize the magnitude of what WE HAVE rather than what we DON'T HAVE? How often do we cherish the present and instead keep ruing and complaining of few things that happened in the past or fear what may not be there in our future. 
If the answer is not many times then you are not alone....well, at least till now.
As now onwards, you may not have me for company on that dreadful boat sailing to nowhere land.

I must admit, it took a simple yet touching blog http://mywifesfightwithbreastcancer.com/blog/#.UsleX-L_m4I to open my eyes to the vision of what lay right in front of me but which I turned a blind eye to, till now.
And what a delightful sight to wake up to and knowing that I am so blessed. Life will have its ups and downs and thank god for that. But by being in the present and acknowledging that our life is the greatest gift of all....is the best realization one can have!

Day 3 : Rethink, Recharge!

One of the many reasons I look forward to my weekends is that I get to read my newspapers from the headline on front page to the footnotes on the back page. And one of my favorite weekend newspapers is the MINT Lounge. It's special in a way because it always inspires me, enthuses my lazy weekend bone, whips up my grey cells into doing something new and exciting. And so it was with today's edition dated January 4th with a inspiring theme, 'Rethink, Recharge - Go minimalist, adopt a stray, get a life - 50 experiences to try this year'.  Click here to read the story
http://www.livemint.com/Leisure/ZFDlMXkegnjTtfqvFTcelI/New-Year-Ideas--Rethink-recharge.html

So I made a short list for myself and hope to work on it this year in 2014.
-  Compete the Travel writing course which I took up and didn't complete.
-  Learn new recipes from the internet and try them on weekends. Also keeps hubby happy!
- 1 hour yoga a must in the morning as nothing refreshes me more than that.
-  Read all the unread books in the library before I buy the new one.
 
Here's to the recharged 2014, where I renew some of my past resolutions!

Day 2 - "Misery comes free. Joy, fun and laughter take planning." -- Mind Over Matter!

"I have cerebral palsy. I shake all the time," Maysoon Zayid announces at the beginning of this exhilarating, hilarious talk. (Really, it's hilarious.) "I'm like Shakira meets Muhammad Ali." With grace and wit, the Arab-American comedian takes us on a whistle-stop tour of her adventures as an actress, stand-up comic, philanthropist and advocate for the disabled.

Writer, actor, comedian, Maysoon Zayid is the co-founder of the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival.
I watched her Ted Talk and realised how many people face cancer, heart and lung disease, diabetes and a vast array of phenomenally challenging illnesses on a daily basis. They awaken every morning, look adversity right in the eye and choose to laugh in the face of the greatest challenges of their lives. They've chosen to live everyday with purpose, joy and gusto.
Copy the link below in a browser window and enjoy her talk.

http://www.ted.com/talks/maysoon_zayid_i_got_99_problems_palsy_is_just_one.html?utm_medium=on.ted.com-static&awesm=on.ted.com_Maysoon&utm_content=awesm-publisher&utm_campaign=&utm_source=facebook.com

Day 1 - "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

Today, I accidentally happened to read Dr. APJ Kalam's (past President of India)Wikipedia profile. It would be an understatement if I said, it left me completely floored. I was totally humbled, astounded and overawed when I read about his early life and education.
"A. P. J. Abdul Kalam was born on 15 October 1931 in a Tamil Muslim family to Jainulabdeen, a boat owner and Ashiamma, a housewife, at Rameswaram, located in the Indian state of Tamil Nadu. He came from a poor background and started working at an early age to supplement his family's income. After completing school, Kalam distributed newspapers in order to financially contribute to his father's income. In his school years, he had average grades, but was described as a bright and hardworking student who had a strong desire to learn and spend hours on his studies, especially mathematics."

So what then made someone with such utterly humble background go on to become India's most revered scientist and also the 11th President of India.

And then as serendipity would have it, today evening I chanced upon an editorial piece in The Times of India titled 'Motivation is Greater than Favour'. It talked about how out of the world's hundred richest people today, 27 are heirs and 73 are self made. In other words, the article goes on to say that super achievers are not born, they are self made people. It is not external favour but ones own struggle which makes one a super achiever. Nature does not discriminate between one person and another. Nature's gifts come to everyone equally. It is the receiver who either utilizes them or not.

So what better reinforcement of an inspiring thought than that, I said to myself.

Mr. Aristotle, you have inspired me to do one act everyday repeatedly for the next 1 month and that is write a blog post of the most inspiring ideas and thoughts that move me.

The first one is dedicated to you!